the end of me (is the start of you)

i hoped to find you in the night
i hoped to find you when the sun had shut her eyes

no map of ages brings me to you
no signs or shooting stars light my way

but tonight, but tonight

when i come to the end of me i'll find the start of you.

the flames of a thousand beating hearts
not strong enough to light a fire in my soul

and when the darkness sings its sleep
over the oceans of noise and tragedy

tonight, oh tonight

when i come to the end of me i'll find the start of you.

let me see it in my own eyes
let it light across my own skies

tonight, oh tonight

when i come to the end of me i'll find the start of you.

credits to big sis for the chorus :P - plagiarism at its best.... :)

i lolded

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

all i want is (across the wall) - love song (for a saviour?)

when everything i know is
somehow painted with our love
when every other thing that i hold dear
falls around my feet and i don't care to pick it up again

when i lose my heart
and hope to find it whole and safe again in your hands
when i lose the world
and know that everything i have is wrapped in all that you are

all i want is you
all i want is in you

when the nightmare fades
and your arms succumb to hold me close and pray that the fear will die away
and when my dreams fail
and it's you who pulls me up inside, and brings my heart back down across the wall

sichuan burma and the western bubble

I've been reading with growing concern in the last few days about the terrible natural disasters in Burma and China. They say that in Burma 78,000 people have been confirmed dead, and in China it is feared that up to 50,000 will have died, while 5,000,000 have been left homeless.

And to be brutally honest, its not the fact that the Burmese government won't let foreign rescue workers in in more than ones and twos that breaks my heart, but the way in which it personally affects me.

That over 100,000 should die within a very short amount of time and that it should not affect me in the slightest.

Granted, I live in a country that is separated from these countries by the ocean and other countries, yet I cannot hear the cry that they let out. I cannot see except for on news websites the damage that it has caused, and I cannot feel the pain that those people are feeling.

And even through all of this, I don't know if there's anything I can actually do for those people. The people who have no house, no family left, what have I got to offer them?

Airport

I'm sitting in the departure lounge waiting for my flight. Everyone I have ever know is sitting there with me. Everyone who I have hurt. I entered the airport today, entered the cold sterile emptiness and left behind everything I ever was.

I've checked in. They take my passport but they don't look at my picture. It doesn't matter anyway. They don't need to. They ask for my luggage, but I don't have any. I walk through security, but they don't look at me. I can't hurt anyone any more. I entered the airport today, entered the cold sterile emptiness and left behind everything I ever was.

I'm walking to the departure lounge, there is no people. No people anywhere. The big empty spaces scare me. They are clean and safe and terrifying. Noone watches me. I look out the big windows and remember that everything is muted in here. Everything on the outside looks dark. Unwelcoming. I entered the airport today, entered the cold sterile emptiness and left behind everything I ever was.

I enter the departure lounge and see everyone I've ever known. Everyone I've ever hurt. They don't look at me. They don't sing. They laugh and they cry for me. Or at me. It doesn't matter. Everything I've ever done is dead in their eyes. They don't know who I am. They don't look at me. One by one they get up and walk past me but they don't touch me, or see me, or hear me. They don't know me. They don't need to.

I walk towards the plane as they have just called my flight. I think I should look back. I think I should see everything I've ever done. I think it should break me.

I walk into the empty plane and sit down. There is only one seat. There only needs to be one. The plane waits for me. It offers me a choice. I can walk back into everything I've ever done. Or I can stay on the plane.

Noone I've ever known, noone I've ever loved, noone I've ever hurt can see the plane. They don't know I'm here. They don't miss me when I'm gone. They don't need to.

I entered the airport today, entered the cold sterile emptiness and left behind everything I ever was.

____________________________________________________________________

Shan't explain it, make your own meaning :)

the intent of this blog

since this is a blog, and since you're reading this you're probably wondering why i made a blog.

the simple answer is because zack told me too.

but anyhow, i figure i better have a purpose to writing a blog and contributing to the vortex we call the internet. so.... (and i added that extra dot to the ellipsis for you tim....)

i intend to write something meaningful occasionally, something which explains something about me, something random, some musical critique, a movie review, a rant, something funny, something sad, a question.... in other words everything.

and because i'm lazy right now, and i don't want to tap into my creativity i will post an old piece of writing in a minute

this is a new blog

this is a brand spanking new blog